


Detox

by Donaudampfer (Melwars)



Category: Iron Man (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Arc Reactor, Arc Reactor Angst, F/M, Gen, Hurt Tony Stark, Iron Man 2, Palladium Poisoning, Self Confidence Issues, Sick Character, Sick!Tony, Sickfic, Tony Feels, Tony Stark Needs a Hug
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-08-22
Updated: 2017-04-01
Packaged: 2018-08-10 08:49:25
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 9,264
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7838332
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Melwars/pseuds/Donaudampfer
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Tony feels a little bit more than under the weather when the palladium detox finally kicks in. Post IM2</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

Maybe he shouldn't have taken off so soon, after all. Pepper had tried to talk him into staying in New York for a couple of days, so he could help her deal with the press and clean up. Luckily, or rather almost unbelievably so, there had been no casulties during Whiplash's attack on the Expo. Well, besides a couple of people who had suffered minor burns and abrasions. But those were all potential law suits that didn't require the imminent presence of Stark Industries acting CEO, which took a lot of pressure off Pepper. After making sure everything was set up and in order Pepper had reluctantly agreed to Tony heading off to Malibu, so he could deal with the other mess he had left within the last week.

Now though, flying thousands of miles above Kansas, he wasn't so sure about this decision anymore. Shortly after lift-off he had been overcome by a minor headache which, after two hours, had blossomed into a full blown migraine, leaving him breathless and unable to control his suit safely. He had wisely given over control to Jarvis before his vision had blacked out and he had felt the first urge to vomit. A feat he considered quite unmanagable at his current height and traveling speed and of course, with the helmed closed. He ordered Jarvis to inject him with a small dose of Ibuprophen before he passed out completely.

He was awakened by a breeze of air on his face and a sudden feeling of vertigo when his knees gave way and he found himself kneeling on the assembly platform in his workshop. A brisk English voice was talking to him. He couldn't quite decipher what was being said to him, but he identified the inquiring voice as Jarvis.

"...ir! Sir! Are you with me, Sir!"

"Y..Yes, Jarvis!" he mumbled "W..what happened?"

"Sir, it seems that you passed out shortly after giving over controll of the Mark VI. I was able to steer you back here and monitor some of your vitals. In order to get a detailed account however you need to attach yourself to the diagnostic chair. Complications due to the new chest piece cannot be ruled out at this point!"

His head was swimming and the headache was still severe enough to give him trouble focusing, but otherwise he was feeling okay. Beside the bone aching fatigue and the exhaustion that came with the drop of the adrenalin level. He stood up on shaky legs and made his way over to the small couch in the corner of his workshop

"Actually Jarvis, I think I am alright. I am just going to crash on the sofa for a little bit .. don't interrupt me.." he yawned „unless it's really, really ridiculously important!"

"Sir, I highly recommend you finish running the tests on the new chest piece and thouroughly check your vitals before..."

But Tony had already succumbed to his exhaustion, shutting out the world and everything in it.

"Night Jay!"

A considerable amount of time passed before he jerked out of a fitful sleep, his hand immediately going to his chest, expecting a sharp pain running from the center of his chest down to his abdomen but to his utter surprise experienced none of it. Overjoyed, he lifted his shirt and was almost disappointed when he looked down upon the gray mess of spiderweb like welts still marking the skin around the RT. He remembered the heavy metal detox scenarios and symptoms Jarvis had listed shortly after he had installed the new reactor in its proper place and groaned in frustration. He had waved the A.I. off yesterday, while he was preparing for battle. Now though, he felt like crap. Soaked in sweat, head still pounding, feeling both cold and hot at the same time and he noticed he was shivering like a leaf.

"Jarvis? Are you there?"

"For you, Sir, always"

Tony almost rolled his eyes at the AIs usual retord.

"What time is it? How long have I been out?"

"Seven hours and forty-five minutes sir. Your vitals indicate first symptoms of high metal detoxication. Might I suggest, Sir, that you check yourself into a medical facilty..."

"No way, José!" Tony immediately answered and started tapping the brand new circle of light on his chest "top secret technology, remember? I won't have any up-to-no-good doctor or nosy nurse prying around in my business!"

"..well than I recommend you contact either Miss Potts or Colonel Rhodes. Given your earlier vocation of keeping your physical condition a secret and how it resulted in a number of misunderstandings, I suggest you do it immediately"

Tony grinned and shook his head lightly to clear it, but was rewarded with a bout of nausea instead.

"Don't get your panties in a knot, Jay!"

The nausea intensified when he got up and he barely had time to spot the nearest trash bin before he found himself on his knees, heaving the meagre contents of his stomach into the plastic container.

"You know what, Jay. You call Pepper and I... I ... just... take another nap..." with that he passed out on the floor of the workshop, still clutching the trashbin with one arm.

\--

The next time he awakened, it wasn't on his own volition. Jarvis' voice once again penetrated his ever seamingly ever present headache.

"Sir, I have detected, that your body temperature has continuously risen throughout the last three hours. If it continues at this rate, you soon won't be able to move around under your own strength!"

He coughed and immediately felt lightheaded. Indeed, he couldn't remember a time when he had ever felt quite like this before. Sure, he had been sick. As a kid he had had his fair share of flu incidents, but the weakness and the bone weariness that disrupted his every thought and move was something completely new to him. He had to admit, that it was becoming quite worrisome, even to him.

"Jarvis, have you tried calling Pepper?" he panted.

"I have tried several times with both Miss Potts and Colonel Rhodes and have yet been unable to reach either of them."

He finally managed to push himself off the floor. One hand steadying his head and the other hand moving immediately to his sore stomach, once he stood more or less stable.

"What time is it in New York?" he asked

„11 am, Sir! I have recorded footage of the press conference Miss Potts held this morning, would you like to ..."

"Naaah thanks. I am going to take a shower and then finish the tests on this stroke of genius here" he interrupted and tapped his chestpiece again. "Try again with Pep and inform me if you managed to get a hold of her"

"Yes Sir"

It only took him fifteen minutes to slowly make his way up the demolished stairs, remove the clothes sticking to his clammy body and step under the shower head. Completely drained, he finally sank down the wall until he was sitting in the middle of the steady water stream, trying to hold onto the last thread of consciousness.

_Shit, I think I need help..._

Was his last coherent thought before blackness once again claimed him.

\----

To say that Pepper was stressed, would be the understatement of the century. She could practically feel ulcers forming in her stomach as she stood in front of the mayor of New York Flushing and repeatedly tried to assure him that none of the previous night's activities had been either the fault of Stark Industries or Iron Man, for that matter. A whole armada of security videos substantiated her claim, but nonetheless the mayor seemed hell-bent on coaxing some money out of Stark's pocket.

The headache, which had been steadily building since the beginning of the press conference she had held in the early morning hours, head steadily risen until she had been forced to take painkillers to functions.

"Mr. Ruddler, I can only refer you to Hammer Industries' legal department so many times. You have watched the footage..."

"Yes, I have watched it and it shows a direct involvement of Iron Man and, or Iron Man technology, with the destruction occuring in Flushing yesterday."

Pepper just sighed and shook her head.

"You know what? I have no time to start this all over again. Please contact our legal department and have THEM refer you to Hammer instead. Have a good day!"

"Ms. Potts, it is your duty as CEO of..."

"What? To pay up right here and now? What did you expect to be the outcome of this meeting?"

She stood up angrily and made her way to the door, noticing Happy on the phone, wearing a solemn expression. He nodded, as she heard him say something that sounded like.

"Ok, we'll be right on our way"

He turned around to face her.

"Who is that?" she mouthed inquiringly

"Jarvis!" he answered "he wants us to..."

An unsettling feeling spread in her stomach and in the next moment the phone was snatched out of his hands. "Jarvis? What's going on?"

Happy opened the door for mayor Ruddler and made his way to her desk.

"Miss Potts, I am afraid your presence in Malibu is required immediately"

"What happened?" the unsettling feeling in her stomach had formed into a rock-sized knot.

"Mr. Stark has collapsed in the shower two hours and thirty-four minutes ago and has remained unresponsive ever since. I have monitored his vitals and noticed a steady rise of body temperature up to now dangerous levels..."

"He was alright last night..."

"It seems that Mr. Stark hasn't anticipated the severe effects of the detoxication process and therefore has not prepared any precautions."

Pepper cursed under her breath and looked up to find Happy coming up to her "Wheels up in twenty minutes!" he said calmly and opened the door for her.

They started into a quick pace towards the car park on the floor level.

"What is he doing right now?" Pepper asked, dread changing to panic.

"As I said before, Miss Potts. Mr. Stark is currently unconscious. I am alternating the water temperature in order to regulate his body temperature..."

"What's his temperature, Jarvis?"

"It has risen up to 103.5, Mam"

Pepper gasped and sped up her pace, almost passing Happy on the way to the elevator.

"Ok, we'll be there as soon as we can. Have you contacted the hospital?"

"No Mam, Mr. Stark refused medical help."

Pepper sighed and stepped into the elevator alongside Happy. She rubbed her tired eyes _. The idiot!_ She knew Jarvis was programmed not to disobey orders, which meant, that he would not open the doors for a medical team, even if she was the one to call for their help from New York.

"Have you contacted Rhodey?"

"I have been unable to reach Colonel Rhodes since last night"

Pepper suddenly realized that she was currently speaking on Happy's phone, which meant that she had accidentally left her own in her designated chambers in Tony's New York residence. Once again she cursed under her breath. How long had Jarvis been trying to reach them. How long had Tony been lying on cold floors in his own house, unable to move or help himself, a raging fever robbing him off his strength. Her throat was constricted when she told Jarvis to call if anything changed.

_This moron!_

 

_\---_

 

Wet... cold...water...water! WATER! Everywhere!

His eyes shot open in confusion and panic. „Jarvis!" he croaked

"You are in Malibu, Sir. You have taken ill. Remain calm, help is on the way."

"What? Why?"

He tried to push himself of the wet, currently cold floor but felt that he didn't have the strength to keep his eyes open for more than a few seconds. He shivered violently.

„Jarvis... cold!"

„I am sorry, Sir. You are currently running a high fever. I have regulated the water temperature to cool down your body. I am sorry if it is causing you discomfort"

Tony couldn't really make out what the voice was telling him. The last thing he remembered was flying off to Malibu and then waking up wet and cold. His head and stomach hurt and he could smell the distinct scent of vomit, which made him gag once more. His whole world was reduced to pain and cold. A vague feeling of dread and danger was still swinging with revolving around Pepper. Pepper and Rhodey!

Pepper! Where was Pepper? Someone had tried to hurt her... Who? Hammer! Justin Hammer and his dog! Pepper!

Pep! Where are you?

The last thing he remembered before he succumbed to the darkness descending upon him, was the sudden stop of water pressure on his body and someone telling him to calm down and breathe.

 

\----

Two hours into their flight Pepper's phone started to ring. She startled awake from her light dream filled nap. She reached for it, already expecting Tony's face to pop up on the screen and was almost relieved to find Rhodey's stern glance staring at her instead.

"Pepper! What is going on? Jarvis just contacted me, I am already on my way... do you know anything?"

Pepper sighed and squeezed her eyes shut. Her foggy and tired mind tried to catch up with their current predicament.

"You would have to ask Jarvis. I .. We are on our way, too."

"Pepper! What happened? Tony never admits to needing help. Never"

_Yes, for the moment, I am not dying. Thank you._

These few words had haunted her ever since she had heard the exchange between her assistant turned super spy and Tony. The unbearable guilt of not noticing that the person she knew best in the world had been in serious trouble, on the verge of death really, for the last six month was steadily eating away at her. How could she NOT notice. His erratic behaviour had been more than conspicuous, even for his standards. Gracious donations to organisations he had never had any affiliation with. Making her CEO of the company, that had basically been his whole life. Giving Rhodey his suit and, oh god, the strawberry incident, only a couple of days ago.

"Did you notice, that he had been ... " the words were hard to speak out loud "unwell, for the last couple of months?"

The line went silent for a few moments

"Yes, Pepper. I even confronted him about it. He waved it off and I ..."

"kinda left it at that" she continued for him. "Yes, I know. I was so annoyed with most of the antics he pulled lately that I didn't even stop to think about it. Oh Rhodey,..." she once again took a deep breath and suddenly felt Happy's curious gaze upon her.

"that out of control birthday party last week," She paused "It was supposed to be his last one."

Out of the corner of her eyes she saw Happy's eyebrows shoot up.

"What?!" Rhodey's reply was sharp and followed by a string of curses. In the background she could hear the workings of an operating Iron Man suit.

"Pepper, are you telling me that..." his voice was suddenly very low and she had to strain her ears in order to pick up what he was saying. "Is someone with him? Hogan? That Natalie chick?"

"no" she answered defeatedly.

"shit" Rhodey said "Listen, Pep! I am almost there. I'll call you when I get there."

_Say what you mean, you don't wanna hang out with me anymore._

_I think hanging out with you is bad for our friendship_

Tony's dumbstruck and hurt expression was now fresh in his memory. He had regretted the harsh words immediately after he had spoken them out loud, but not as much as he regretted them right now, after Pepper told him, that his allegedly best friend was home alone, probably dying, without a soul in the world besides an Artificial Intelligence and some cold, hard mechanical robot arms to assist him.

"Jarvis? ETA?"

"15 minutes, Sir."

"What's his status?"

"Unchanged, Sir."

Rhodey wasn't quite sure, if this was a good or a bad sign.

"Jarvis? Is he... is he going to be alright?" Rhodey knew that this was a very naive question to ask, but he needed to have some kind of reassurance before he would lose his mind trapped within this tin can.

"Mr. Stark's body is fighting off the palladium currently still residing in his system. Provided he survives the detoxication process, Sir should make a full recovery."

So the poisoning had stopped. That was good sign, right? This gotta be a good sign.

Fifteen minutes later Rhodey found himself standing on the dissasembly platform in Tony's workshop.

"Sir is currently in the bathrom adjacent to his bedroom" Jarvis said before he could even ask. As soon as the last piece of the suit was off, he bolted upstairs. Even though he had been informed about his friend's current predicament, Colonel James Rhodes had not been prepared for the sight that greeted him.

Tony was lying on his side on the shower floor, naked, curled in on himself in a fetal position, shaking like a leaf. As Rhodey moved closer. He noticed his friend's blue lips and overall bluish complexion, when he kneeled down to him and started to shake his shoulder.

"Tony! Tony!" he called gently, completely ignoring the fact that he was currently kneeling in a mix of spray water and vomit.

"Come on, man! Wake up!"

The engineers eyelids fluttered but didn't open. Rhodey rolled him on his back and for the first time saw the massive allignment of spiderweb like lines, origanting from the arc reactor. The same lines he had noticed a couple of days ago on his friend's neck. At that time he had been more or less satisfied with Tony's explanation.

He stood up, took hold of the shower head and sprayed a beam of lukewarm water all over his friend's naked form, trying to get rid off the residing stomach contents he had been lying in, for god knows how long. Tony tossed his head weakly from one side to the other.

Rhodey once again bent down and lifted the sick billionaire into his arms. Tony was completely limp and his head lolled weakly against Rhodey's chest. He started mumbling incoherent words and Rhodey felt his eyes grow wet at the sight of his proud friend, being reduced to this. What had he done not noticing something was so utterly wrong!

"I'm sorry, buddy! I am so so so sorry!" he repeated over and over again, like a mantra or a prayer, as he gently carried him over to the bedroom.

 

\---

Rhodey gently laid his wet charge down on the king-sized bed and quickly left to get a few towels. When he returned seconds later, Tony had already curled up into fetal position, his body instinctively trying to save up as much body heat as possible. Rhodey toweled him down quickly.

"Man, I really hope you won't remember any of this later." he mumbled. When he was finished he shifted him to a dry spot on the bed and covered him up with as many bed sheets as he could find.

"Sir, may I remind you that even though Sir is experiencing discomfort due to the cold, his body temperature is still slowly approaching dangerous levels. He is also severely dehydrated"

"Is there any ice in the fridge, Jay?"

"Yes, in the workshop, Sir." Jarvis answered quickly. Rhodey quickly proceeded downstairs again, and continued questioning the faithful A.I..

"Why did you not call emergency services when you couldn't get in contact with either me, or Pepper. Or Happy, for that matter?"

"Mr. Stark explicitly instructed me not to introduce any more people to his condition."

"What condition exactly?"

Rhodey actually wasn't sure anymore. He didn't know where the black crossword puzzle all over his friend's body came from or what they were exactly. Why he seemed almost on the brink of death all of a sudden, when he was in combat-shape only 24 hours ago. Where the sudden secrecy came from when it came to his RT, which had been checked over and over by military and private doctors alike upon his arrival from Afghanistan. He knew there had been complications with the reactor core. He remembered his own horror, when he had pulled out the black and smoking palladium nugget out of the maulfunctioning arc. Once again he mentally kicked himself for not following up on his gut feeling when he had first confronted Tony about his obviously deteriorating condition. He should have investigated more deeply, he should have pushed further. The way he had always done, when it came to this mercurial, untrusting and obviously damaged man. The way he had done ever since he met him as a boy of 14 in MIT. Rhodey had always felt big-brotherly instincts towards the billionaire, despite the younger man's obvious genius and arrogance and he wondered when he had suddenly become too lazy to bother anymore. Rhodey tried to convince himself that it had nothing to do with Stark Industries' sudden reatreat from weapons manufacturing and the concurring damage to his own career. But to be honest, he wasn't so sure anymore. Maybe his willingness to put up with the excentric man's antics had slowly and almost unnoticably receded with the lack of career advantages. Rhodey shuddered for a second and it had nothing to do with the contact of ice with his skin, when he removed a few ice packs from one of the fridge's drawers. Had he really become this person? Had he chosen his career over his best friend? Had he really been on the verge of abandoning this man, who he sometimes still saw as the neglected and lost boy he had been, when he first met him in MIT.

_I think hanging out with you is bad for our friendship._

He cringed, when he once again remembered the short and bashful dialogue they had exchanged on the private jet from Washington. He couldn't really blame Tony for not bringing up this new change of behaviour in Rhodey. The man had undoubtedly noticed, but being so used to people leaving him, taking advantage of him and sometimes even betraying him, he had probably accepted it the same way he had accepted all the betrayals before - as the natural way his relationships went. Nobody deserved this. Especially not Tony. Especially not after everything that had occured within the last year. He was so lost in his thoughts that he almost didn't catch Jarvis' explanation about Tony's new condition, the severity of the palladium poisoning, which had almost killed him and the new element he had created in an act of desperation. Due to the developments of the last two days and the haste with which he had to finish the project, he hadn't hat time to properly test the new RT and its effects and measurability. It was basically top secret and had to remain so until further noticed. And since Tony was attached to it, nobody was to get anywhere near him.

When he came back to the bedroom he found Tony entangled in the sheets. Breathing heavily, almost wheezing and sweat already covering his shivering body. He was caught in the middle of a nightmare and using up his last ounces of strength to fight off the invisible demons plaguing his sleep. Rhodey dropped the icepacks on a small table beside the door and rushed to him.

"Tony!" he yelled and took a hold of both his shoulders. „Wake up, man!" He shook him a few more times before Tony's trashing finally ceased and he managed to crack open his eyes into two small slits. Rhodey was overjoyed to see the recognition in his friend's feverish gaze.

"Pepper" he croaked before once again closing his eyes. Of course he was asking for Pepper. Pepper, the only one who was yet to leave or betray him.

"She'll be here in a minute, Tones. She's on her way." but his answer went unheard. Tony's head fell limply to the side. Rhodey wasted no more time. He fetched the ice packs and put a couple of them under the prone man's armpits and on his groin. The rest he lined up along the side of his body before he once again pulled the sheets up to the arc reactor.

He studied the grey silvery lines and extended a finger to touch them. The moment he made contact Tony flinched violently and opened his eyes again to fix him with, what under normal circumstances could have been described as, an angry glare.

"Stop that!" he hissed.

„Sorry, man" he answered sorrowfully and reached out to grab his friend's hot hand in his own.

_Come on, Pepper! Hurry up!_


	2. Chapter 2

Rhodey got up and made his way to the bathroom. He had to think of a way to get some fluids into the unconscious engineer. Jarvis had already mentioned the dehydration and he hoped it wouldn't come down to an intravenous drip. At the moment Tony was out cold though and Rhodey honestly didn't know when he would be coherent again to take a few sips. Tony hadn't been wakeful enough to consciously lift a finger since he had arrived at the mansion.

At the end he grabbed two cloths and filled a bowl with cold water and made his way back to Tony. He soaked both cloths, making sure that one of them was dripping wet and the other remained merely moist. He returned to drape the moist cloth over Tony's forehead. With his free hand he steadied the sick man's face and slightly lifted his head off the pillow. He dribbled some of the soaking cloths excess water in between Tony's slightly parted lips. Tony barely responded but, considering the dehydrated state his body was in, he reacted involuntarily and to Rhodey's utter relief he licked it up unconsciously. The ice chips he had prepared half an hour ago wouldn't be finished until two hours later, so he repeated this process over and over again. He was so occupied by his task, that he didn't even notice Pepper's and Happy's arrival until they were already standing in the doorway to the bedroom. Had Jarvis alerted him to their arrival?

He had been making all kinds of suggestions and comments for the last couple of hours, but he had only listened with one ear and therefore ignored most of them.

When he heard the noises behind him, Rhodey gently released his hold on his friend's head and turned around to face the new arrivals. Their expressions were worried and Pepper's solemn gaze was fixed on Tony's unconscious form. His breathing had calmed down considerably since his last bout of nightmares only a few minutes ago, when Rhodey once again had to hold him down, while he struggled, so he wouldn't hurt himself. Tony's pale complexion underneath the fever flushed tinge and the sweat glistening on his face and chest spoke bounds about his current state, though.

Pepper wasted no more time and rushed to Tony's side, avoiding the giant hole in the floor. Climbing the bed from the other side, not even noticing the moist sheets from were Rhodey had laid Tony down when he first pulled him out of the shower. She ran her hand tenderly through his wet hair and directed her speech at Rhodey without looking at him.

"When did you get here?" she asked, her voice barely above a whisper.

„About two or three hours ago. Found him in the shower"

Pepper nodded but didn't answer, never taking her eyes off Tony. She placed both hands on the sides of his face and gently kissed him on the lips. All precautions, uncertainties and consequences shot to the wind in the light of their current predicament. She needed him to know that she was finally here. That he wasn't alone anymore, like he had been for the last day. He needed to know, that she hadn't abandoned him after their kiss yesterday. She knew full well what his feverish and therefore nightmare prone mind might have come up with to torture him in the meantime. This time there were no teasing comments from Rhodey, only hopeful expectation directed at Tony.

"Come on, Tony! Wake up!" she whispered when she finally pulled free and was finally rewarded by the sight of two soulful brown orbs.

She smiled down at him through unshed tears. "Hey there" she whispered and once again ran her hand through his tousled hair.

"Pepper" he whispered back and managed a small relieved smile. Pepper felt her heart break at this open and uncharacteristic display of joy and relief over her presence.

 _He really must be out of it_ , she thought

"I'm here now, Tony" she said and softly kissed him one more time before he drifted off into a more peaceful slumber.

Rhodey was dumbstruck by this open display of affection and trust between the two. What the hell had he missed out on lately? He had witnessed their impromptu make out on the New York rooftop yesterday, when the adrenalin was still flaring high during the aftermath of a life threatening experience.

He had watched them grow apart for the last couple of weeks, ever since Tony had made her CEO. He tried to shake off his regrets once more. He thought of his friend's conscious decision to distance himself from everyone and everything in the face of death. Not for the first time during the last hours he wondered about Tony's motivation behind the birthday bash and the incident in Monaco. Better to go out with a bang than to drag it out and waste away in solitude.

He tried to catch Pepper's gaze, but as soon as Tony's consciousness had faded away, she become all business again, shooting out questions at him and Jarvis in rapid succession.

Within minutes she was informed about the difficulties and dangers that went along with the process of ridding the human bloodstream and organism from heavy metals and about methods to alleviate the worst symptoms and speed up the healing. Rhodey had been embarrassingly useless for this and he realized shortly afterwards, that Jarvis had told him all of this information during the last hour, when he hadn't been listening properly. One of Jarvis' suggestions had been to get in contact with a certain Natasha Romanov of S.H.I.E.L.D.. Apparently she was in possession of some _magic_ remedy, which she had even used on him before. When and how this had occurred and why this complete stranger had been aware of their friend's deteriorating health was beyond him. If Pepper's sudden silent demeanor was any indication, she hadn't been prepared for this piece of information either, but she seemed to at least be familiar with said person.

Rhodey looked at her with raised eyebrows when she suddenly got up and left the room without another word. Rhodey followed her immediately, jumping over the damaged floor and found her picking up all kinds of rubble blocking her way and throwing the pieces small enough for her to pick up across the room in her anger.

"Pepper!" he called when he caught up with her in the kitchen where she was opening up closets and cupboards, agressively assembling ingredients and cookware to fix what might become a broth.

"What is going on?" he asked and she turned around to look at him for the first time since she had arrived. The exhaustion and worry was written all over her face, but there was something beyond that. A mix of feelings he could easily identify with.

 _Shock_. Shock at the revelations of the past couple of hours.

 _Disappointment._ Disappointment over Tony's lack of trust, when it came to sharing his trials.

 _Anger_. Anger at herself for not noticing something was wrong, and at Tony for not telling.

 _Sadness and Grief._ Sadness over Tony's obvious suffering and grief over what had almost become an irreversible reality. But Pepper wouldn't be Pepper if it wasn't for her undaunted efficiency in the face of crisis. Working for and with an excentric billionaire for over a decade had prepared her for almost everything.

"I wish I knew!" she answered honestly. "I found about it yesterday, by chance. I overheard Romanov talking to him over the comlink. I am starting to doubt that I would have found out if it wasn't for that."

"Romanov…"

"aka Natalie Rushman! A spy assigned to Tony. A fricking spy, Rhodey. Apparently she knew about the poison a long time.…"

"She is a spy?!"

Pepper was furious and she had chosen to channel her grief into that anger. It was a lot easier to bear.

"All this time, she knew about it and didn't bother to tell us! Who does something like that? Why did she let that happen? How did she know? How did she know and I didn't! How did she notice? She knew him for a month? Rhodey! How did she notice and I didn't, when I haven't been doing anything but look out for him for the last ten years…?"

Her voice had steadily risen in volume and speed and the moment her voice started to crack he pulled her into a tight hug.

"Pep, she is a spy. It's her job to notice these things. You had a lot on your plate. Don't forget that! Don't be so hard on yourself. He should have told you in the first place."

"But he didn't, Rhodey. Why didn't he tell me?"

"I don't know, Pep. But you know how he gets…"

"No, I don't know… not anymore!" she pulled herself out of his embrace and straightened herself.

"Right." she said. "There's no use to whine about it, now. I am going to call this Natashalie person once I finish…"

She was about to return to her cooking, when they heard Happy's yell across the hall.

They quickly exchanged a glance, before immediately heading off into the direction of the bedroom. When they got there Tony had almost completely rid himself off his sheets, tossing and turning. Rhodey reacted quicker than she did and practically threw himself across the room, once again grabbing Tony's upper arms and restraining him to the bed.

"Rhodey! What are you doing!? Stop that!" Pepper yelled as she followed him and slapped his hands away.

"I…"

"Get off!" she hissed and replaced his vice-like grip with her soft touch. She took one of Tony's hand and guided it to her face, with the other hand she reached for his cheek. Bending down far enough she started to hum soothing words of comfort and assurance into his ear.

"Tony, you're in Malibu. You're safe. There is no cave. Open your eyes, Tony! See for yourself, look at me!"

Like a mantra she kept repeating the same words over and over again until his tossing ceased and he eventually cracked his eyes open and looked at her. Confusion, pain and disorientation clearly visible in his gaze.

"That's great, Tony! You're doing great" she assured him, aware of the fact, that he hadn't quite gotten a grip on reality yet. She started to place the scattered icepacks on their designated spots, before pulling the sheets over him. Tony shivered, but neither commented nor made any notion to stop her.

She turned around to face Rhodey for a second and quickly ordered him to finish cooking the soup. Her tone was icy and Rhodey involuntarily had to force down a lump in his throat. He knew a command when he heard one, and soldier he was, immediately followed suit, almost glad to get away for a short while.

How the hell had he not read the signs of PTSD on his best friend. How the hell had he let him down so phenomenally?


	3. Chapter 3

As she watched Tony settle down after a few more moments of disorientation, she turned around to see that Rhodey had indeed left the room. She would have to apologize to him for reacting as harshly as she had. There would be enough time for that later. For now her focus returned to her sick boss. Her sick _boss_. Technically he wasn't even her boss anymore. Technically she had quit on that roof yesterday, and he had... well he had not accepted her resignation. She was quite glad about that too, because now almost 24 hours later, she knew that her immediate response after being rescued last second from an explosion, at high-speed had been uninformed and adrenalin filled.

She studied him for a few moments as he fought his way to full consciousness. The sheets were once again on their way downwards. His upper body once again bare, giving Pepper a good view of the mess, that was his chest. Beside the fact, that his skin was discolored and marked by streaks of silver, she noticed, that he had lost a tremendous amount of weight. He was almost skinny again. Skinny like the mid twenty year old she had met over a decade ago. And she once again wondered, how in god's name she hadn't noticed him not eating. In hindsight there were a lot of hints, she could have, _should_ have detected. The way his skin hadn't looked right for the last two months, how his eyes almost always seemed glassy, nearly feverish. The bags under his eyes and the way his shoulders seemed to slump everytime he felt unobserved. She had noticed but had attributed all of these changes to the new and very consuming Iron Man business he had obliged himself to. Because, basically having two jobs, running a company and saving the world, was too much, even for Tony Stark.

That's why she hadn't second guessed his decision to lay off the CEO duties, the sudden generosity towards organisations he wasn't even remotely affiliated with or his impromptu fascination with racing his own race car were not necessarily surprising actions for a man who was world famous for his wild eccentricities. So she had once again thought nothing about it.

Actually, he hadn't really acted out of the ordinary all that much and after the first shock of finding out about his condition, the short guilt trip and the concomitant panic, she had actually convinced herself, that it was really not completely her fault.

He had meant for it to play out like that.

Despite his eccentricity and absent mindedness there was a level of intelligence to him that was rarely matched on the whole planet and one should never underestimate that. For most people it was barely comprehensible and not for the first time he had her fooled with it. His genius was not only restricted to the scientific and technical realm. There was a good reason Stark Industries the flourished the way it had since Tony had taken over the wheel. And despite of Obadiah's role, it could mostly be traced back to Tony's genius when it came to foresight and manipulation.

So the only question that remained was WHY?

Why had he felt the need to conceal everything from those closest to him. Why had he distanced himself from everyone and everything. She was pretty sure that she would never get the complete answer to that, but she had a feeling where it was was rooted. He was a very complicated guy, had always been, really. Even before Afghanistan. Growing up in the spotlight, his every move under scrutiny. His genius tested and called into question every second step, either by Howard, by his tutors or even by the media itself, Tony had grown an almost impenetrable shield around his heart. A shield, Pepper had been sure, only she had been able to penetrate. Now, though, she wasn't so certain anymore.

She noticed him looking at her. For the first time since she had arrived, he was looking at her through eyes, that weren't hazy with fever and delirium. She raised her eyebrows, silently asking him if he was indeed fully there.

„Pepper.." he started in a weak voice „you are here"

She didn't say anything, just nodded and let her right hand sink down to his collarbone, gently stroking the side of his neck. He closed his eyes shortly and leaned into her touch. Moments passed without anything being said. Both enjoying the silence and each others presence.

„I am sorry, Pep" he whispered finally „I should have told you"

„You should have!" Pepper immidiately answered.

Tony closed his eyes for a second, for the first time not in exhaustion or pain, but in sorrow.

„I...I ... made life hard enough for you. I didn't want to...add anything to your list"

His eyes remained closed and she watched his throat work as he swallowed hard. At this point she couldn't tell if he was struggling for words, or with nausea.

„Why?" she simply asked.

He looked at her through half-lidded eyes and by the expression in his eyes she could tell that he knew exactly what she was asking. The expression in his eyes also told her, that what he said next was the truth and had always been the truth for the emotionally neglected rich boy, the loney child prodigy whose existence only seemed to be tolerated when he achieved greatness. It was probably also the most honest and self revelatory answer he had given her in over ten years.

„It's all I know" he whispered sleepily before finally drifting off again.

Pepper's heart went out to him. She had always known that Howard and Maria were less than perfect parents, but it had been hard for Pepper to feel anything like sympathy for Tony Stark, who by every definition of the word, could be described as a spoiled brat. Having waitressed her way through college herself and fighting for her career every step of the way, she had always held prejudices against people, who had the world handed to them. That was until the day she had met Tony and the world of issues that came with an inheritance like his. It was especially in times like these, she realized how lucky she had been to have grown up in a loving household, with two parents and an older brother. Looking down at his fitfully sleeping form, she could easily picture him as a 12 year old boy, struck down by the flu or some flulike sickness common among children. But unlike common children, she imagined him alone in his room, waiting it out on his own, the only company the first makings of a robot with a very unique personality.

She took his head in both her hands and touched her forehead to his.

„You are not alone, anymore, ok? You will always have me and Rhodey and Happy. I don't care if you can hear me or not, right now. I will spend the rest of my life hammering this into your stubborn moron head, Tony Stark! You don't have to do this on your own anymore"

She sincerely hoped that this first of probably many speeches would make his way into his subconsciousness somehow. She had always known him to lean towards the crazy a little bit. His current behavior though had gone off the charts even for his standards. And as she had said, she swore to herself that she would spend the rest of her life trying to fix what Howard had destroyed so many years ago.


	4. Chapter 4

Pepper found Rhodey walking around on the rubble filled balcony, looking out at the sea and clutching a coffee cup in his right hand. Happy was nowhere to be seen and she decided it was for the best if she let Rhodey to his thoughts for the time being and instead headed straight for the kitchen area to grab a sorely needed coffee herself. She rubbed her burning eyes and stretched her stiff limbs, while she waited for the coffee to run through the machine and tried to relax for a few seconds. She tried to tell herself that everything was under control, that a little fever was no obstacle for a man who had endured open heart surgery in an Afghan cave. But being the rational person she was, forbid her the luxury of lying to herself and she was painfully aware that they weren't dealing with the common flu and that Tony wasn't a young man anymore, who could easily bounce back from an episode like that. She was very much aware that a fever this high could cause lasting damage, especially to his valuable brain.

The door bell went off and ripped her out of her reverie.

„Natasha Romanov is currently entering the..." Jarvis started to inform her, when she saw the agent stride around the corner and straight for the bedroom. She stopped for a second when she noticed Pepper standing in the kitchen staring at her, but quickly continued her pace. Pepper followed her and entered the bedroom just in time to see the other redhead remove the cap of a syringe with her mouth and unceremoniously stab Tony's neck with it. The unconscious billionaire involuntarily groaned out a string of curse words and opened his eyes to slits as he fixed the spy with an angry stare.

„Be nice!" the redhead answered sharply before he could catch his breath to utter another volley of insults and pocketed the empty syringe away. She retrieved another full one and put it down on the night desk next to the kingsized bed.

Tony angrily turned away from the intruder, which apparently cost a lot of effort as he was left panting when he finally arrived at the chosen position, lying on his side, facing away from both women. He flinched in pain, when the movement jostled his sore chest and he grabbed the sheets with both fists, his eyes tightly shut trying to ride out the wave of agony. Pepper quickly moved and positioned herself by his side. She saw something flicker across the gray lines on Tony's neck and noticed that they seemed several shades lighter, some even on the verge of vanishing.

„What did you do to him?" Pepper asked in a surprisingly neutral tone. If the happenings of the last night had taught her anything, it was the fact that Natalie, or rather Natasha was one of the good guys and for some reason she trusted her.

„This injection should help with the brunt of the symptoms and take off the edge." Natasha answered and bent down to search for the sick man's pulse. After a short while she nodded in satisfaction and said. „This should do the trick for now. He should feel better within the next couple of hours. If it gets worse again, use this one." she pointed at the spare syringe on the small table. „It's kind of self-explanatory"

She moved around the bed to once again face the stubborn man. She snapped her fingers in front of his face twice before he met her gaze with a furious glare.

„I stored Fury's number in your phone's hard drive. We expect to hear from you within the week!"

Tony grumbled something unintelligible and weakly waved his hand at her. Natasha snorted, gave a sharp nod to Pepper and left the room and the mansion as quickly as she had entered it, no questions answered.

„What the...!" Rhodey cursed when he was almost run over by the retreating spy on his way into the bedroom.

„What was that all about?" He asked Pepper, who answered with a confused shrug of her shoulders. She bent forward to find out that Tony had once again succumbed to sleep, this time though, it seemed deeper and less strained.

„She did something for him. I am not quite sure..."

She placed her hand on his forehead only to find that his fever was still raging and nothing had changed, apparently, since she had last checked, but somehow for the first time in hours she felt hopeful again. With a gentle hand she stroked a stray lock out of the sleeping man's face. She also replaced the wet cloth on his forehead which had fallen off when he had so stubbornly shifted his position. When she finally got up and headed for the door, she grabbed Rhodey's arm and pulled him out of the room with her.

„Let's find Happy and try to figure out this mess!"

„But…" he tried to protest

„Jarvis has got this! Right Jarvis?" Pepper answered

„Of course, Mam. I will alert you if any changes to Mr. Stark's condition should occur"

Rhodey sighed and finally complied, following her outside, but not before he cast one lasting glance on his friend's still form.

„I am sorry" Pepper said, her voice barely above a whisper, with her back still to him, as he entered the kitchen several moments after her. He didn't reply and instead observed her rubbing her tense shoulders before turning around to face him. He wasn't even sure what she was apologizing for.

„Pepp..." he tried to start.

„It's not your fault, I shouldn't have acted like that. You couldn't have known. I should..." he made a step forward and grabbed her in a tight hug, cutting her off mid-sentence. He noticed she was trembling slightly in his arms. Seeing the impeccable Pepper Potts coming apart like this, made him wonder, what made this situation so different from Tony's other benders throughout the years. This wasn't the first time the two of them were running around and fussing over a hung over, unconscious, injured or ill playboy billionaire. It wasn't even the first time, they had noticed a little later, after reluctantly buying into his insistence that he was completely fine after gruesome missions. What probably made this different, was their total ignorance towards his worsening condition over the last months. And what made it really hurtful, was Tony's choice not to tell them. Why did he feel, that he couldn't tell those closest to him that he was on the brink of death.

„No Pep, don't do this! This is nonsense. That guy * **decided*** not to tell you. He kept this away from you on purpose." Rhodey tried to reason with her „He is a genius, Pepper. He will always find ways to outsmart us. There is nothing we can do about it."

„That's the whole point, isn't it?" she forced her way out of his embrace to properly look at him „He doesn't trust us! He still doesn't. Why, Rhodey?"

„He doesn't trust anyone" Rhodey answered truthfully.

Pepper winced at that and Rhodey immediately regretted the statement. Of course, Pepper wasn't just anyone. It was true though. The only thing Tony had ever known all his life was fake friendliness and fake affection from people who only approached him, when they wanted something or saw an advantage in his acquaintance. Being the smart kid he was, he had always seen right through this agenda and had played along with it. He had learned to use people like they tried to use him. Always used, never loved. The only person he had ever really trusted as a child, beside his mother and Jarvis, had literally ripped his heart out and tried to kill him with brute force. So, who was he to blame. Even though she never had given him any reason not to trust her, or Rhodey for that matter, Tony had made the decisions to take matters into his own hands and do this on his own. Go out the same way he had lived. Alone! Not relying on anybody but himself.

„And there is nothing we can do about it" she repeated his own words. Her fists suddenly clenched at her side.

„I need... I need some air" she turned around and fled the kitchen and seconds later Rhodey heard the door slam.

„Damn!" he said. He checked his watch. It had only been ten minutes since the mysterious Miss Rushman had left, so he decided to let Tony sleep it off and wait for Pepper to calm down. He placed himself on the slightly demolished couch and took in the state of destruction in the mansion's living room. „Man, you've really outdone yourself this time" he murmured to himself. He told Jarvis to switch on the TV and checked a couple of news channels. There were no new reports regarding the events in Flushing, so he settled for some light entertainment and finally dozed off.

He didn't know for how long he had been out, before he was roughly awakened by Jarvis' slightly panicked voice.

„Sir! Sir! You wished to be alerted, should anything change in..."

„Yes! What is it, Jarvis!" he was suddenly wide awake, already on his way to the bedroom. Jarvis didn't have the time to explain. He could see Tony clumsily trying to pull on a pair of pants, he had obviously collected from the drawer, still wide open in front of him.

„What the hell do you think you are doing!?" Rhodey asked. Tony just looked at him impatiently and continued the slow and agonizing process of dressing himself. „Dude, you need to lie down and rest. You had us really worried!"

„I need to go to the workshop!" Tony wheezed and looked up at him through glassy eyes, that spoke volumes of his exhaustion

„What?!" Rhodey almost yelled. Pepper would kill him, if he would let that happen „No way, man!"

Tony pushed himself off the bed and with a strength that amazed the both of them, pushed Rhodey aside and strolled past him. He came to a sudden halt, when he almost fell through the large hole in the ground. He tried to catch his balance again, but a sudden bout of vertigo caught him off guard. Rhodey had already been prepared for something like that to happen and caught him just in time. He guided Tony back to the bed and helped him lay down again. Tony's breathing was slightly labored and his eyes were tightly closed. He was unconsciously gripping at his arc reactor and a slight sheen of sweat had broken out on his forehead. Rhodey just shook his head.

„You just went full retard, man! Never go full retard" he told the billionaire angrily. Tony didn't hear him, lost in the agony of his struggling body, or he chose not to hear. Either way, he decided to leave the comment go by. A testimony really, of his weakened state. There was no way, Tony would have let this one slide. A minute passed until Tony's breathing got back to normal.

„I am feeling a lot better" he finally said.

„Yeah, I can see that" Rhodey replied sarcastically and immediately placed his hand on his friend's shoulder, when the sick man tried to get up a second time.

„I need to have this analyzed" Tony's hand weakly flew to the new triangle shaped arc reactor in his chest. „I don't know what it may... do...or..." suddenly his eyes shot open. „Where is Pepper?" he asked.

„She went out to get something." he sincerely hoped she would be back. Until then optimism was his best friend. „You rest now, we'll figure this thing out later!"

„No, it has to be checked… might... be dangerous to..." Tony chose this second to pass out again. Rhodey's worry only heightened.

 

 


End file.
